Scarybirds

Tests Before Having Children
FOLLOW THESE 14 SIMPLE TESTS BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO HAVE CHILDREN:

Test 1

Women: to prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front. Leave it there for 9 months. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.

Been away a while. Prisons are such lovely places. The warders tuck you in at night and sing you a lullaby as you descend into your slumbers. A lot of the other people there are concerned with your well being and health, many asked me if I had had my prostrate checked recently and offered their personal services. Getting your back scrubbed in the showers is never a problem and can be quite lucrative in the local currency which is rolled up cigarettes. The exchange rate can vary so, watch your back.

Adolf bolt-on humour'

Twas The night before Christmas,
And all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring,
So I took their stereo.

I finally got out of my rubber room........

I am now designing all kinds of footwear and I am going to advertise them here in my blog section of Scarybirds.

Just thought I hadnt been around on here for a while.

Did i miss anything earth shatteringly good?

Now for the talking bollocks bit...

I recently moved to sunny Wales, where the men are men are men and the sheep etc,etc,etc.

Now near to where i live is the local ASDA. It has an enormous car-park. Only problem being is that you first have to drive past an enormous section for the handies,(Capped). Then you have to drive past another section for parents and sprogs. By the time you get to where you have to park, you need a bus to get back.

Ok. If you go on this programme you aint a secret no more. Everyone now knows what a sanctimonious tight fisted twat you are.

You must really enjoy rubbing peoples noses in it as you go among the needful and needy deciding who most deserves your cash.

Yes, I really do think you are wonderful. I have added up what you give out in this programme and working out the percentage of what your giving to what your worth aint shit to you.

If you have never been to this place, dont.

Its a small place, mainly made up of caravan parks, most of which are struggling or already in the hands of the receiver. The other accomodation is made up of what are proudly known as villas. This conjures up something wonderful and spacious, forget it, some of them are enlarged garden sheds but not as well looked after.

Its just a thought. I'm not that educated that I could call this a thesis, because I was too lazy to study and all the papers I ever see back it up quote varying authors etc, as I said its jus an idea, but remember, I started it!